Steroids? Huh? Never heard of them.

The Belgian Bodybuilding Championships have been cancelled due to doping officials showing up and attempting to force the 20 competitors to inject anabolic steroids into their clean, pure and healthy bodies. Visibly shaken, the competitors, still in their posing trunks, grabbed their gear and all ran out the door, terrified at the thought of putting these bad, bad chemicals into their bodies. The 20 were last seen headed for the French border.

At last year’s event only 75% of the “athletes” were able to escape the dope official’s needle.

Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? (So does the idea of 20 bodybuilders actually running). If there was just one guy in the 20 who knew how to mask, would he have been declare the winner?

The doping official, Hans Cooman says the sport has a history of doping “and this incident didn’t do its reputation any good.” Now that’s funny. Hans implies 1) bodybuilding is a sport, and 2), it has a reputation!

Seriously, though, does anyone really care if bodybuilders use steroids? I don’t. It’s not even a sport so how can it be cheating if everyone in the event is doing it?

If you and your neighbor are in a gardening competition and he produces a tomato the size of a bowling ball because he used a better manure than you did, shake the guys hand, congratulate him and do him one better next year. No one cares. It’s a freakin’ tomato! And who takes bodybuilding and professional wrestling serious anyway?

It comes down in the end, to the guy with the best chemicals, right? Better living through chemistry, I say!