Dumbbell Certifications

Posted on May 29, 2008 - 7:14am by MarkFu in General Fitness, Humor

Pick out the dumbbells

The big business plan in the fitness world these days is certifications. Crossfit can get you certified three levels into their system and you can get “certified” in Olympic lifting in a weekend. (Never mind those lifts take years to master). You can get certified in basic barbell training, running, triathlons. Hell, even kids have their own certification. I predict soon there will be a “Masters Certification” for aging baby boomers with time on their hands and plenty of disposable income. (I mean after all, if there is a kid’s cert, why not us? Who do you think pays for the kid’s certification anyway.)

Dragondoor and Pavel have made a lucrative industry out of kettlebell certifications and Crossfit is getting in on that action too.

Ross Enamait, in a kettlebell thread at rosstraining.com tells us don’t expect to find “dumbbell certifications”, but I disagree. For just half the price of all the above “certs” (2 mints in 1), I could capture the entire market with my “dumbbell certification” and I can give participants a piece of paper that acknowledges them as a certifiable dumbbell too. I already have mine.

When did a “weekend training seminar” start being called a “certification” anyway? What about those people who paid their $1,000 and just can’t get the hang of swinging a kettlebell or running around the block on the balls of their feet? How about federal funding for a “No Fat Weekend Warrior Left Behind” program. No question, from a marketing standpoint, “certification” sells.

Ok, I better stop right here lest I sound like Rant at Moynihan Institute!

Helen ...
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3 Responses

Top Sites Fitness

May 29th, 2008 at 9:18 am
1

All this certification mumbo jumbo started with personal training certifications a decade or so ago. You make valid points about certs being over used, over awarded, and over talked about. There are a couple good certifications, such as the ISSA for personal training, and maybe a couple specialized certs for Crossfit and the like. In any case, this is a great blog with intelligent information and humorous commentary.

This being the case, Top Sites Fitness would like to welcome you to join our fitness website network. We are currently small but growing, and we’d love to have you sign up at http://www.topsitesfitness.com. You can also enjoy some additional SEO and SEM info published in the Top Sites Fitness blog.

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vert

May 29th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
2

Classic. Certified dumbbell.

All these sheep traveling all over the country and spending thousands of dollars to become an “expert” in a weekend. The inflated self-importance is the funniest part. The new fitness paradigm seems to be “take yourself way too seriously”.

Read this blog post by a weekend certified expert (ironically using the moniker of a counter-culture hero who stands in defiance of this type of marketing scheme) who claims to be able to improve the training programs of 3 Olympic athletes in very different sports: http://www.crossfitvirtuosity.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33:what-would-i-do&catid=1

I wonder what the (professional) coaches that brought these athletes to this elite level think about his advice.
MarkFu

May 29th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
3

It is said a person with a little bit of knowledge is dangerous. That, in part defines the zealot. Who is “Keith”? On his site I saw nothing with his complete name (did I miss that?) and his qualifications. As much as he may think he knows about training athletes, elite or otherwise, I think he is mistaken to second guess three separate professional coaches each with athletes competing in the Olympic Games. But then when you have words like “virtuosity” and “perfection” as your site name, you probably aren’t too concerned about sticking your neck out!
vert

May 29th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
4

His internet moniker is Tyler Durden. Hence the irony.
markfu

May 29th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
5

“All the ways you wish you could be, that’s me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.” Oh THAT Tyler Durden. What a tool!
vert

May 30th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
6

Classic. Certified dumbbell.

All these sheep traveling all over the country and spending thousands of dollars to become an “expert” in a weekend. The inflated self-importance is the funniest part. The new fitness paradigm seems to be “take yourself way too seriously”.

Read this blog post by a weekend certified expert (ironically using the moniker of a counter-culture hero who stands in defiance of this type of marketing scheme) who claims to be able to improve the training programs of 3 Olympic athletes in very different sports: http://www.crossfitvirtuosity.com

I wonder what the (professional) coaches that brought these athletes to this elite level think about his advice.

You can see all comments on this post here:
http://mkonen.com/bblog/humor/dumbbell-certifications/#comments
markFu

May 30th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
7

It is said a person with a little bit of knowledge is dangerous. That, in part defines the zealot. Who is “Keith”? On his site I saw nothing with his complete name (did I miss that?) and his qualifications. As much as he may think he knows about training Crossfit, he is foolish second guessing three separate professional coaches each with athletes competing in the Olympic Games. But then when you have words like “virtuosity” and “perfection” as your site name, you probably aren’t too concerned about sticking your neck out!
topsitesfitness

May 30th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
8

All this certification mumbo jumbo started with personal training certifications a decade or so ago. You make valid points about certs being over used, over awarded, and over talked about. There are a couple good certifications, such as the ISSA for personal training, and maybe a couple specialized certs for Crossfit and the like. In any case, this is a great blog with intelligent information and humorous commentary.