Tonight’s workout pretty much sucked so afterwards, I enjoyed some Pork and Beans. Now you can too.

Pick out the dumbbells

The big business plan in the fitness world these days is certifications. Crossfit can get you certified three levels into their system and you can get “certified” in Olympic lifting in a weekend. (Never mind those lifts take years to master). You can get certified in basic barbell training, running, triathlons. Hell, even kids have their own certification. I predict soon there will be a “Masters Certification” for aging baby boomers with time on their hands and plenty of disposable income. (I mean after all, if there is a kid’s cert, why not us?  Who do you think pays for the kid’s certification anyway.)

Dragondoor  and Pavel have made a lucrative industry out of kettlebell certifications and Crossfit is getting in on that action too.

Ross Enamait, in a kettlebell thread at rosstraining.com tells us don’t expect to find “dumbbell certifications”, but I disagree. For just half the price of all the above “certs” (2 mints in 1), I could capture the entire market with my “dumbbell certification” and I can give participants a piece of paper that acknowledges them as a certifiable dumbbell too. I already have mine.

When did a “weekend training seminar” start being called a “certification” anyway? What about those people who paid their $1,000 and just can’t get the hang of swinging a kettlebell or running around the block on the  balls of their feet? How about federal funding for a “No Fat Weekend Warrior Left Behind” program. No question, from a marketing standpoint, “certification” sells.

Ok, I better stop right here lest I sound like Rant at Moynihan Institute!